I'm so glad I came this time. My Dad is ok, maintaining even, but he looks terrible. He's in so much pain in his hip that he can barely walk. He's stooped over and he's lost so much weight. He doesn't do anything anymore, he sits in his recliner or sits in his chair outside...maybe once in a while he'll play cards with my Mom and sister but more often than not he's just sitting. My dad has never been an idle person so this is all very odd behavior. The report of his last CT scan was not good. Very not good in fact. He has another appointment with the oncologist in a couple weeks and then he'll go in for a biopsy of his hip. There are two possibliities. First is the spot at his hip will not be cancer but will instead be his actual hip bone deteriorated and crumbled away...which will most likely lead to a hip replacement. Second would be cancer in his bones. I really have no clue which option would suck less. He's now had 2 surgeries in the last 4 months...one was a major operation that set him back a lot. The second was a couple of weeks ago and didn't appear to have as much of an impact on his faculties. The Alzheimer's is advancing...he's really not sure of my presence here. He knows me, but he's not sure if I've been here for a while, if I live here, or if I just showed up each time he sees me. And he has no clue who Zachary is or why he's here. That makes me sad.
Anyway...I'm goinig through a few emotions I guess. Or at least quite a few thoughts and feelings are running amok in my head. I am glad to be here but I miss my husband so much right now. I'm staying one more week before we head home.
I worry most that I'll have to come back down here sooner than we (my little family) want to come. Does that make sense to anyone other than me?
Big BIG news...Zachary is doing a LOT of walking. I will save that for later though...it's very exciting!
Labels: cancer sucks ass, family news, mama's bored
Youch. I'm sorry things are so painful for him. And super sorry you have to watch him go through it. (Although I don't know if being there, or not being able to be there, is harder...) You are in our prayers.
Is Z walking on his own??? Or holding on to things? Katie took 8 VERY STEADY unaided steps to me today. Only 'cause I told her if she walked to me we could nurse in the rocking chair. She held me to it, and didn't walk any more.