whiny baby tales

makes me feel like the worst mother in the world. Not every moment of every day, thankfully, but when we are out in public. Oye!

Yesterday was a MOPS play date at the mall. Besides the "normal" screaming fits he throws at the drop of a hat, he ran off and I actually LOST him for 5 minutes. The mall is HUGE and he's not. Thankfully another MOPS mama found him before I totally freaked out.

Today at the pumpkin patch, another MOPS play date, he again wanted to run off from me. This pumpkin patch is in the middle of nowhere, with vast open expanses of nothing and there was just no way at all I was going to allow him to run free. So he spent a lot of time doing this: while I spent a lot of time pointlessly saying things like "if you don't listen, we'll leave" and "you can not run off from me again". Winner of the useless statement contest, that's me!

I know he's in pain from teething, he's almost got 3 of his canines in but still has his 2 year molars to go. I swear by the time he finally gets all his baby teeth in it will be time for the adult teeth to move down and the baby teeth to fall out. We'll NEVER make it!!!!!!!!!!!

My MOPS group "hired" a Love and Logic speaker to do a seminar...which is wonderful. I'm struggling with two things...remembering what I learned from each class and how to use it with Zachary now. I feel like he doesn't understand enough verbally to "get" what I'm saying. He probably does and has ME trained to think otherwise. I can't even wrap my mind around what I need to be doing with/to/for Haley as a mother...yikes.

Mostly though...I just want to cry. I have done this twice before and other than motherhood amnesia I can't think of one single reason why I don't remember the 2's being this hard. Oh wait...I can. Micheal was a super easy toddler/young child and Haley, while she was the poster child for TERRIBLE 2's and out of control at times, mellowed out quick. I keep blaming all the hard times on Mike and his side of the family...that's the only variable that has changed in my 20+ years of parenting.

Labels: a day in the life of a Zachy boy, bitch and moan, failing miserably as the mom, photos, rambling thoughts, want some whine with that cheese?, Zachary

I have my moments when I feel like I can actually do this parenting thing with a little bit of grace. Today though is NOT one of those days.

Haley is at school, since it is Monday after all. But first thing this morning she asked me to pick her up early. Again. She did this all last week too. She changed schools when we bought this house the end of the last school year. I asked HER to decide where she wanted to go to high school, the scary school that all her friends from preschool through middle school would be going, or this really good high school a mile from home. Scary school is about 3 miles away, and gas is expensive. Haley chose to go to the good school by the house...no one forced her to make that choice. We of course WANTED her to chose it, but we also want a happy teenage daughter. We know her moods and how life is when she's NOT happy.

Well, the second week of school during PE she ended up with shin splints...and I stupidly took pity on her and let her stay home from school for 2 days. I guess that was my undoing as she now HATES school, has NO friends at all, and basically has told me more than once that she is only at this school for ME, is only going to make ME happy, and I am quite lucky that she's not ditching all her classes.

Well, excuse ME for being your MOTHER. And for caring about YOUR future. I guess if you really want to just go ahead and screw up your entire life, then skip all the classes you want. Hell, why not go start doing drugs or drinking or getting pregnant too. If you are that sure that getting a good education is NOT important anymore, then go ahead and be your own mother too.

These are the kinds of days that I just want to quit this whole motherhood gig.

Labels: failing miserably as the mom