Location: Colorado, United States

I'm just me: wife to Mike for 9 years, mom to three great kids I can hug and kiss every day and one babe I can't wait to hold in my arms again one day soon. I'm always looking to improve my faith life and be a better wife and mother.


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whiny baby tales

The Mommy is bored...the kids are bored...the Daddy works too much. What's a family to do???

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Thursday, August 30, 2007

help me out??

I'm on the look out for poems. I am once again organizing our local Walk to Remember and need some new poems to read and share with our support group.

Leave a comment here, or check out our group web page here. The Walk is October 13th so I've got a little time.

Help a sista' out, ok?

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posted by Kerry @ 1:21 PM   0 comments

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

dot to dot boy

These pictures are from Monday morning...poor babe broke out in a rash on Sunday and then the fever hit later Sunday night. Monday morning he was just miserable! I took him to his doctor and she at first thought he had Roseolla...then after looking at the spots on his feet and the redness in his throat changed her mind to Hand, Foot and Mouth disease.'s now day 4 of the rash and the spots are still there but they are turning pink. They are still flat puss, no pimples and no ulcers in his mouth. His feet have a lot of spots...almost more than his belly! But nothing that indicates HFM at all. In fact, if I recall correctly from a friend that went through this recently he should be in pain. And he's not. The last time he had Motrin for his fever was Monday afternoon. He's not had any Motrin for pain at all. His appetite is awesome, he's drinking a ton of water and nursing as much as I'll let him. He's napping more than normal, but I'm kind of forcing that on him. If he's sick (which, how can he not be with all those spots!!) then his body needs to rest. Nights are not going as well as I want them to...he's wanting to sleep ON me. I can't sleep when he's on top of my chest! So...nights are tough and I'm tired. But oh well...I've been tired since before he was born.

Anyway...there's my dot to dot guy. He's in a great mood for looking so spotty!

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posted by Kerry @ 10:20 AM   0 comments

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

I suck. Badly.

Oh my God, please tell me what has gotten into my sweet baby???? He's an absolute NIGHTMARE tonight!

Last week, when we went to the zoo, he started this fun new thing that out of the blue whenever he feels like it he SCREAMS this high pitched blood curdling scream. I can NOT stand kids that just scream to hear themselves scream...and that appears to be Zachary's new favorite past time. UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So...he's been going to daycare for 3 days now...he's basically walking around completely sleep deprived because he will NOT nap at daycare and he's been getting up at least 4 times at night. He's going to bed at like 7, which is at least an hour earlier than normal. I KNOW he's exhausted, hell I'm exhausted!

Today...he took a gloriously long nap at daycare!!! 1 1/2 hours...he slept so good! The ladies said he was so happy and didn't cry at all today...other than the mad screaming cry when I first dropped him off. He had a GREAT day. I was so glad, and hoped that him finally giving his overtired body that nice nap would help with tonight and maybe he'd sleep more than 2 hours. A mom can dream.

The screaming fit started around 4:30. My oldest son sat down with a snack and the baby wanted it. All of it. Guess he's not eating real great still at daycare. So, Zachary had a snack, and almost half of what his big brother was eating BEFORE dinner. Then an hour later for dinner he ate more food that I thought could possibly fit in his little belly. And a little while after dinner he nursed like he's not had food for years. Growth spurt??? I know he's teething, his gums are soooo red and swollen and the drool is coming by the bucket full, so I gave him Motrin. I might have given him too much as he's bigger than what the infant dose goes up to and I was going on my very overtired memory of what the doctor told me to give him.

The screaming, oh the screaming. I actually SPANKED him. I felt horrible but really wanted to toss him head first out the door, the screaming was that bad. I love this boy to death, don't get me wrong, but I just can't stand the screaming. So...I decided it wasn't getting any better (this had been going on for 1 1/2 hour now) and what the hell, maybe he needs to just go to bed. I know I was at my breaking point, so off to bed he went. And he SCREAMED. But then he fell asleep...for 45 minutes.

I got him up, he wanted to cuddle and nurse, but still he was fussing. I stood him on the ground for a minute and he about fell over...I think the Motrin does was too much! Oops...hopefully that will leave his system soon. Anyway...I was trying to love on him and cuddle with him and nurse him at his request but he started screaming again!!! So...I put him on the floor in front of me and just keep asking if he was done. Which brought on MORE screaming. Finally after about 1/2 an hour of screaming, he seemed to calm least a bit. Enough to nurse again. Then he started rubbing his eyes and just looked so tired I told him it was time for bed. He's in his crib now...not sleeping but not screaming or crying. I do hope the boy sleeps tonight...I seriously need to get some sleep myself or I have a bad feeling I'm going to just crash soon. Hopefully while I'm at home doing nothing the next couple of days! LOL

Frustration is my name!

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posted by Kerry @ 7:56 PM   0 comments

Monday, August 13, 2007

ugh, sleep

I swear Zachary has gotten WORSE! He was awake probably every 1 1/2 hours last night, and it took about 1/2 an hour to get him back to sleep each time. So...I started reading through the magic book again, hoping for answers.

Needless to say, there really aren't any. He's a terrible sleeper, has always been a terrible sleeper and needs to nurse to put himself back to sleep. Now mind you he stopped nursing to sleep the first time of the night many MANY months ago...but he's still wanting to nurse in the middle of the night anywhere from 1 to 10 times a night. I'm really getting two weeks I start a job that requires me to be there at 6 AM. I have to be up at 5 something, and I have to be awake enough to stay at work all day AND function.

What gives? I searched his mouth for signs of impending teeth...didn't find anything unusual. Searched his body for injuries...only found a bruise on his butt cheek that had to hurt (and I remember when he fell down and it did hurt!). I'm just at a complete loss. Right now he's in his crib SCREAMING bloody murder all because he's too tired to give up and I'm too tired to try to get him to sleep "gently". Poor bear is sobbing and screaming and I feel absolutely HORRIBLE.

Anyone, please, advise me???? He has slept 11 hours at night TWICE so I know he CAN do it...he just won't.

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posted by Kerry @ 7:45 PM   0 comments

Thursday, August 09, 2007


What could happen to a nurse, or group of nurses/aids/whomever is involved, if it's found that a patient is being given medications that are not listed in their charts...are not ordered by their doctor...are not wanted by the family?

My Dad has been sleeping a lot. Not because he's tired or worn out from physical therapy sleeping, but dead to the world I'm on some kind of drug sleeping. Our guess, which will be proved right or wrong by the tox panel that has been ordered and should be running now, is that the night duty nurses or whomever is around, is tired of my dad "being a problem patient". Remember that he's got Alzheimer's? Well, he doesn't. He has NO CLUE where he is, and half the time he doesn't know who HE is anymore. Yesterday he was finally himself. Ate like there was a food ration going on...knew my sister, my mom and recognized that he was in a hospital. Pretty darn good, right? Today, as he was the entire week before yesterday, he's sleeping. We are pretty sure that he's been trying to get up at night, forgetting he can't do it alone, forgetting why he's in the hospital, forgetting every little detail, and the nurses are getting upset with him...and giving him a sleeping pill. Or something. We'll see once we get the results, and then we'll see who's left without a J O B for being an ass.

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posted by Kerry @ 2:53 PM   0 comments

Tuesday, August 07, 2007

more on dad

Mom and Kelly talked to the Radiation doc again this morning. He has consulted with the surgeon on his findings and together they feel strongly that the Cancer has gone into Dad's bones.

I can't really tell you what this means to me, I just feel numb. Kelly and I talked about Dad in the past tense and the weird thing is that's already how I am feeling. In a way I lost my Dad a few years ago, when the Alzheimer's started. But this, well now it's going to be for real. No more phone calls and jokes. No more "who are you" questions that may be him being silly or him being confused. No more I love you to my Daddy. I hate Cancer.


posted by Kerry @ 8:33 AM   0 comments

Sunday, August 05, 2007

thinking out loud

I keep wondering, why do I blog? I love to read other people's blogs...I love to hear about their lives, from the drama to the mundane. From the boring "I'm here, kids and I went grocery shopping, I cleaned up poop and puke and all kinds of food off highchair tray today" to the exciting news of marriage and babies arriving safely. I love to hear how my Internet friends are doing.

But me, why do I blog? I hardly ever share "this is how we spent our day" posts. I typically come in with "I'm stressed/pissed/whatever" short spewing messes and call it good. I don't try to "share" myself online at all.

I do know why I'm guarded...I've been very hurt in the past by someone I was sure was my friend, someone who I thought was trying to help me in a tough situation. But after the dust settled, I got to thinking about that, and many other friendships and started censoring my life online. For a long time that censorship carried over into my personal "real" life as well. I didn't share with ANYONE for a long time. I think I'm better now, but there are a lot of scary things hiding in my brain that don't dare come out to people! LOL

So...why keep a blog. I try to share fun updates about the kids, even though I hardly ever write about my older ones anymore. I try to share cute pictures or stories so the rare times my sister or my mom come along to read (when I specifically email them and send the link!) "check this out"!!! I just keep wondering why I think I'm so important as to have a little piece of the Internet with my name carved into it. I hardly do it any sort of justice blabbering on like I do.

If you blog, why? What is your "motivation" so to speak. And if I don't have a link to your blog, why not? LOL I'm sure I'd love to be reading all about your day too!

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posted by Kerry @ 4:23 PM   1 comments

Friday, August 03, 2007


Funny, since I heard that word an hour ago, I don't feel much like talking.

My dad has terminal lung cancer. He's got 6 months to a year, best case scenario. He'll be starting radiation next week and it might help, might not help. He needs another bone study done first it looks like the hip deterioration might actually have had something to do with the cancer. Or the other way around. Whatever.

My dad needs your prayers please, as our entire family does.


posted by Kerry @ 5:35 PM   1 comments