whiny baby tales

I'm sure I won't be able to get on here tomorrow, so it's a day early.

March 10, 2004 our sweet Matthew was born silently from this world into God's loving arms at 8:36 AM. He weighed 4 ounces and was 7 1/2 inches long and just beautiful. We miss him every moment of every day...some days are harder than others, especially watching Zachary doing things we often wonder if Matthew would have done.

Happy birthday my sweet babe. Say hello to Papa from us, too!

Labels: Heaven's tiny angel, missing Matthew, my daddy, Pikes Peak SHARE

Labels: Heaven's tiny angel, missing Matthew, October 15th, our blessing

Feeling rather sing songy today I guess!

Tomorrow is our Walk to Remember and I am very much ready for it.

I'm excited, which is kind of weird when it's a service to remember so many babies that have died and so many families that are grieving without them in their arms. I miss my Matthew daily, but days like tomorrow are almost like a birthday party from me to him. Don't quite get it...let me elaborate!

Tomorrow morning a few (unknown how many at this point) people will gather...strangers first and then acquaintances and after a few months/years you become friends. So...tomorrow we'll gather as friends...to celebrate and remember our babies. We'll have balloons, music, poems, kind words of remembrance, and lots of tears. We'll hug, we'll talk, and we'll walk the steps our babies never got the chance to take. We'll walk to a park and stand near a water fountain that so many children love to play in during the summer months. We'll all share a poem that might mean nothing to some and it might mean everything they've been trying to say for so long. We'll cry, we'll hug and hold hands. We'll stand there together, parents with so much in common yet we probably wouldn't know each other had our babies been born alive. We'll release our balloons into the sky (hopefully blue and few clouds but it is mid October in Colorado...it's really a crap shoot weather wise!) and we'll remember. We'll listen to a song sung by a man who may or may not know what we're feeling, but he's captured it in song for us anyway. We'll remember our babies by reading their names out loud...we'll share our children with the rest of the world in a public display of our private feelings for our children we want so very very much. When we're finished at the park, we'll walk back to our meeting spot for another poem and a small token of appreciation and understanding to the families present. We'll talk about our children and share their stories. Then we'll eat! We'll have a reception where we can be relaxed and friendly and not too sad about why we're here in the first place. We'll eat and talk and listen to some music and remember. And when it's all said and done, we'll go back to our lives much richer for the things we've shared and the friends we've made.

Won't you help make my life a little richer by remembering my Matthew, and every baby that has died before their time? That is what October is all about to me.

Labels: family news, Heaven's tiny angel, missing Matthew, October 15th, our blessing, Pikes Peak SHARE, Walk to Remember

Labels: Heaven's tiny angel, missing Matthew, October 15th, Pikes Peak SHARE, Walk to Remember

I'm on the look out for poems. I am once again organizing our local Walk to Remember and need some new poems to read and share with our support group.

Leave a comment here, or check out our group web page here. The Walk is October 13th so I've got a little time.

Help a sista' out, ok?

Labels: Heaven's tiny angel, Pikes Peak SHARE, Walk to Remember

Today marks the third anniversary of Matthew's birth and death. I can not believe it's been 3 years, yet somehow strangely it feels like an eternity ago.




Micheal bought a cake for us to celebrate Matthew's life. Micheal. Of all my kids/family, he is about the last one I thought would commemorate the day with nary a thought, let alone a cake. I am incredibly blessed with all of my children.




Somehow I have to think it's because we've been blessed with Zachary that Micheal has come around, somehow got it, to the huge impact of losing Matthew. I sit in awe and watch my oldest son at nearly 19 years old and my youngest son at 7 1/2 months old as they smile and talk and just love each other so much. It truly melts my heart.

Labels: Heaven's tiny angel, missing Matthew, our blessing