whiny baby tales

Guess I better blow the dust off of here!

Things are going well, we're pretty well settled into the new house and spend our "time off" and weekends doing things like unclogging drains and reorganizing the garage. Fun stuff! I still need to do something with my office, it's a huge mess! But right now more important things are going on...like my family visiting!

Father's Day was nice, we got to see Mike's Dad for a while both days of that weekend. I'd like to plan a trip to see them next year for one of Mike's vacation weeks. Micheal turned 20 and then the next day my Mom, Sister and 2 nieces arrived. I love having my family here and the house, while at times is full, is plenty big enough for everyone. I just need a couple more pull out beds or air mattresses or something! But everyone is happy and we're all having a great visit.

Can you believe Zachary will be TWO YEARS OLD???? In 17 very short days my baby is a 2 year old. I'm working on weaning, more for me than him. He has cut down again so that is good. I keep saying by his birthday but that's not set in stone. I just don't see me going much beyond 2 years. This past week or so he has grown up so much! He's a huge train fan now too...which I LOVE, and am so grateful that my Mom let us have my Dad's trains when we were there last December. Those aren't the ones he's playing with yet, but I bet in the next 2 or 3 years he will be. He's really careful and loves to lay down and watch the wheels go round and round. We got him a trike with a long handle so we can push him or flip it upside down and he can rock on it, or take it off and he can ride by himself. I'm so not ready for him to spread his wings and fly though. He is my baby, right??? Sure don't see much of it these days.

It is currently raining a TON. I should take a picture of the lake that is/was our cement patio right outside my office. We have a LOT of landscaping and yard work to do this summer. Yikes!!!

Labels: a day in the life of a Zachy boy, breastfeeding, cutest baby EVER, family fun, family news, kiddos, mama's bored, my daddy, our blessing, rambling thoughts, updates

Zachary wants to be just like his Daddy:


I made a hand print of Zachary's hand for Father's Day...now I think I'll do up a little scrapbook for him too. He LOVES to show off his boy to everyone he comes across, this will surely melt his squishy heart more!

Suggestions on the best way to make a little scrapbook basically indestructible? He's hell on just about everything he touches! :D

Labels: a day in the life of a Zachy boy, cutest baby EVER, hottie hubby, our blessing, recommendatoins please, UPS

Labels: Heaven's tiny angel, missing Matthew, October 15th, our blessing

Feeling rather sing songy today I guess!

Tomorrow is our Walk to Remember and I am very much ready for it.

I'm excited, which is kind of weird when it's a service to remember so many babies that have died and so many families that are grieving without them in their arms. I miss my Matthew daily, but days like tomorrow are almost like a birthday party from me to him. Don't quite get it...let me elaborate!

Tomorrow morning a few (unknown how many at this point) people will gather...strangers first and then acquaintances and after a few months/years you become friends. So...tomorrow we'll gather as friends...to celebrate and remember our babies. We'll have balloons, music, poems, kind words of remembrance, and lots of tears. We'll hug, we'll talk, and we'll walk the steps our babies never got the chance to take. We'll walk to a park and stand near a water fountain that so many children love to play in during the summer months. We'll all share a poem that might mean nothing to some and it might mean everything they've been trying to say for so long. We'll cry, we'll hug and hold hands. We'll stand there together, parents with so much in common yet we probably wouldn't know each other had our babies been born alive. We'll release our balloons into the sky (hopefully blue and few clouds but it is mid October in Colorado...it's really a crap shoot weather wise!) and we'll remember. We'll listen to a song sung by a man who may or may not know what we're feeling, but he's captured it in song for us anyway. We'll remember our babies by reading their names out loud...we'll share our children with the rest of the world in a public display of our private feelings for our children we want so very very much. When we're finished at the park, we'll walk back to our meeting spot for another poem and a small token of appreciation and understanding to the families present. We'll talk about our children and share their stories. Then we'll eat! We'll have a reception where we can be relaxed and friendly and not too sad about why we're here in the first place. We'll eat and talk and listen to some music and remember. And when it's all said and done, we'll go back to our lives much richer for the things we've shared and the friends we've made.

Won't you help make my life a little richer by remembering my Matthew, and every baby that has died before their time? That is what October is all about to me.

Labels: family news, Heaven's tiny angel, missing Matthew, October 15th, our blessing, Pikes Peak SHARE, Walk to Remember

I can hardly believe it's been an entire year that I've known this little tiny baby


I can hardly believe that my little tiny baby has now grown up to a walking talking toddler



I can hardly believe that I haven't known you MY entire life, since I've loved you your entire life. Thank you for being my son. Thank you for restoring my heart and filling my soul with greatness and love. Thank you for letting me be your Mama.



Happy first birthday baby boy. I sure love you!

Labels: cutest baby EVER, our blessing

Today marks the third anniversary of Matthew's birth and death. I can not believe it's been 3 years, yet somehow strangely it feels like an eternity ago.




Micheal bought a cake for us to celebrate Matthew's life. Micheal. Of all my kids/family, he is about the last one I thought would commemorate the day with nary a thought, let alone a cake. I am incredibly blessed with all of my children.




Somehow I have to think it's because we've been blessed with Zachary that Micheal has come around, somehow got it, to the huge impact of losing Matthew. I sit in awe and watch my oldest son at nearly 19 years old and my youngest son at 7 1/2 months old as they smile and talk and just love each other so much. It truly melts my heart.

Labels: Heaven's tiny angel, missing Matthew, our blessing