Location: Colorado, United States

I'm just me: wife to Mike for 9 years, mom to three great kids I can hug and kiss every day and one babe I can't wait to hold in my arms again one day soon. I'm always looking to improve my faith life and be a better wife and mother.


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whiny baby tales

The Mommy is bored...the kids are bored...the Daddy works too much. What's a family to do???

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Friday, June 30, 2006

NST and OB appt

Amazingly enough, Zachary cooperated for his NST today! I was only on the monitor about 20 minutes long today. Good baby!!!

Exciting news, but seriously doesn't really mean a whole lot, is that I am 2 cm dilated!!! Zachary is head down as well, which totally surprised me as I can feel him kicking everywhere. I was almost sure he'd be transverse. Good baby! LOL

I made all my July appointments today up through my due date. My doc will be on vacation the week of July 24th, so IF I am favorable the week before (38 weeks) we'll see about inducing! Today she asked if I was pre-registered at the birth center (done!) and if we had his car seat yet (double done). We're all set. No need to call the OB's office when I'm in labor, just call ahead to the birth center to let them know I'm coming. Really not much longer now...just letting Zachy's lungs get nice and strong and put on a bit of weight. I'm good waiting until 38 weeks...that's only 2 more weeks!! So so close now, I am almost in denial.

I told Mike I would start packing my hospital bag today. There are a few things already packed and have been since my overnight stay at 25 weeks, but no clothes or baby things. I guess I really can do that now. I didn't want to pack my bag too early like I did with Micheal. I kept having to unpack things from it...I can't remember how early I had it ready but it seems like somewhere around 30 weeks! LOL I definitely do not remember having packed a bag at all for Haley, but I must have. It's been so long it's all just a blur anymore.

Not much longer...I'm getting SO excited. Mike is so ready to meet this little man and hold him in his arms. I'm ready to see his face and see what he's like on the outside. I'm guessing he'll be pretty mellow and content as that's how he is most often inside. He's got his wild moments, but overall I'm thinking we'll have a very sweet guy on our hands.

I have decided that when I'm home from the hospital and ready to post anything about Zachary, I most likely will only put one picture up here on the blog, and the rest will be in my Flickr account. I've changed that to where you have to be a friends/family person to see those pictures (there are too many weirdo's out in Internet land that like to steal baby pictures) so if you are not linked to my Flickr account and want to be, leave a comment and I'll make sure you're hooked up right. Not trying to be paranoid from the start, but cautious overall. Hopefully no one will be upset by that, but I have to keep my little guy safe, ya know!

posted by Kerry @ 11:51 AM   0 comments

Thursday, June 29, 2006

it's like heaven

We used this massager during our childbirth class and I loved it. Oh my gosh it was just like 16 magic fingers! Mike wrote down the name of it (I think I've written about this before) and I found one on Ebay. It came today! I can't wait to use it a lot. It's heavenly!

posted by Kerry @ 6:34 PM   0 comments

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

the belly is growing

I just remembered it's been a while since I took a belly picture. Wanna see how big this baby is now?

January 2006 (14 weeks):

April 2006 (24 weeks):

And today (35 weeks):

posted by Kerry @ 3:53 PM   1 comments

hard to believe

Wow. 35 weeks (and one day) pregnant. Way way back in January when I was still scared to death that we'd lose this baby any second I decided to set some goals to help me through this pregnancy in hopes that I could actually enjoy it some day. Well, yesterday was the gestational goal I had set, delivery at least at 35 weeks would mean a baby that only needed a short NICU stay, maybe oxygen, maybe no support at all. I am over the moon ecstatic that we've made it. The remaining 34 days until my due date are just gravy. Baby Zachary, feel free to come any time now! Mommy and Daddy are SO very ready to meet you, see your sweet face, get to know you on the outside.

That said, I'm so not ready for labor! LOL I've been having some pretty decent Braxton Hicks contractions lately, some that even require a few deep breaths to get through, and that just makes me remember that I have to get this baby out of my body! LOL I'm still worried that I'll end up hurting my pelvis, but somehow I'm not as scared to death as I was just 3 days ago. At our last childbirth class I freaked out, broke down crying to the nurse instructor, and just sobbed. I do not want to end up with permanent pelvic pain or damage, and the not knowing how to deliver a baby without being on my back was really getting to me. Fortunately for me, this nurse has been around a while, has delivered plenty of babies and knows a few tricks that she was more than happy to share with me. So, while I worry I won't have the stamina to hold the positions I'll use for labor and delivery, I now have full confidence that Mike will be right there every step of the way and that any nurse we have in the hospital will know how to help us achieve our goals. Finally, some good news! LOL It's taken a few days but the worry has eased some.

Speaking of our last childbirth class, Mike finally got to really feel the baby move. He is just so much more in love with this baby now that he feels more real. All this time I've been saying to Mike, come here, feel this, watch him move. Well for some reason I finally figured something out...stop alerting the baby that the daddy was coming to see or feel him wiggle and just put the daddy's hand on the belly. Surprise, it worked! Zachary was in the midst of a nice long roll over when Mike got to feel him. He was so in awe, and the funny part for me was that particular movement was very gentle...but Mike thought for sure it was something HUGE! Last night right when we got into bed Zachary had the hiccups and was laying in a really strange position so that we could feel both arms and legs squirming as well as his little fit he throws when he's done with the never ending hiccups! Mike just loves that he can feel his boy moving now.

I think we are about 95% ready for Zach's arrival now. We need to pick up diapers, wipes, soap, lotion, maybe some baby washcloths, and the Pack N Play...then it's all about the baby coming. I have gone through all his clothes and found out we have a couple of days worth of diapers on hand there isn't a whole lot more we need to be ready for our first days at home. I do want to get this stuff before delivery day just so that we don't have to go shopping on the way home from the hospital, so we'll do it very soon. After my OB appt I'll be packing our hospital bag as well. It seems so surreal that I could literally have this baby at any moment between now and 5 weeks from now. Wow. I still remember being 5 weeks pregnant and thinking the next 35 weeks would NEVER come. And look where we are. Amazing.

I guess that's it. I'm all about the baby's arrival right now...not much else can occupy my thoughts anymore. I'm working on not allowing the pelvic pain to overtake my life anymore, I'm using the birth ball to stretch my pelvis a couple of times a day, Mike is doing awesome at massaging my back on the ball and the amazing massage thingy we used at the childbirth class that I fell in love with should be here by the end of this week. I swear that thing is like 16 magic feels SO good. We tried out a bunch of things in our practice contraction sessions and that massager was the best...and my amazing husband had the forethought to write down the name of it so I could find it online...and order it from Ebay! LOL God bless that man...he's amazing.

Oh, there is one more thing going on around here, just to add a few degrees of interest to our life. There is a long time driver at UPS that just thinks the world of Mike, and that driver asked Mike's direct supervisor if they would hire Mike full time so we wouldn't move. I am not kidding you when I say he is one in a long line of about 20 other people here that do NOT want us to move. But this scenario actually could be something to ponder. If he does get hired on full time, which we've been waiting for the past 4 years, would we be willing to stay in CO and forgo the move to TX? We have decided that we will still sell this house no matter what, we have to get out from under this mortgage, but then what? Is staying here the right thing to do? Is moving to TX to be with my parents as their health declines the right thing to do? Mike and I both agree that Zachary and I need to be in TX for the family support that we will never have here. But we've got amazing friends here. Is that the same, having friends that are very close to you as good as growing up with your extended family? And what about my Dad and the Alzheimer's Disease? I don't want him to forget me and never get to know this baby who will carry on his name. I feel like I need to be in TX to help care for my parents in their last years on earth, I feel very strongly about that. But then again, Mike and I have a family to raise ourselves and we have to do what is best for our children. It's finding that solution, that balance, that we are struggling with.

But who knows...the GM at UPS is a real dick and he apparently doesn't like Mike for whatever reason. The chance of actually getting hired on full time here seems like a pipe dream. Of course selling our house feels like that too...but we're still holding out hope for that one! LOL

posted by Kerry @ 11:10 AM   1 comments

Thursday, June 22, 2006

quiet time

I'm going to be offline most of the next 5 days...mostly due to my sister and nieces coming here in a few more hours and staying until Monday, but also because she's bringing her old laptop that is the same model as mine and the boy that turns 18 TOMORROW is going to combine the two and make me one decent laptop to keep me grooving online for hopefully a few more years! LOL

So...have a great weekend, don't look for me as I'll be playing and chatting and visiting and having a BLAST with my sister!

Come Monday morning though...I'll be back here crying in my beer about how lonely I am and how shitty it is that my sister had to leave, I'm still pregnant and my house won't sell! LOL Can't wait, right???


forgot to say...after yesterday's crying fit...I slept an entire FOUR hours in a row last night! I was worried starting out the night, up three times in the first 2 hours, but then I slept SOOOO good. I needed it too, I feel so much more able to cope with life today than I did yesterday.

Tomorrow is another NST, I'm sure it will be the same as the last 3, semi-cooperative baby that passes the test just to get us off the machine! LOL Next NST and OB appt is June 30...there will be some kind of news with that appt for sure! LOL

posted by Kerry @ 9:18 AM   0 comments

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

cry baby...

I am in so much pain at night trying to sleep that I dread the nights. Last night was probably the worst, so far anyway. I was up every 40 minutes to an hour because my hips/pelvis hurt too much to lay still any longer, so I’d get up and potty. I used to be able to sleep on my left side for about 10 minutes then onto my right for at least 2 hours, so I felt like I was getting some sleep in between bathroom runs. Now I’m down to about 5 minutes of comfortable sleep on either side. Rolling over is still incredibly painful, I’m not sure how the pelvic exam on the 30th is going to go…I can barely open my legs enough to wipe after I’ve gone potty!

I’ve tried to explain this to my doc but I guess I’m not being clear or specific enough. I have had plenty of pains in pregnancy before but this is totally different. From what I’ve learned on Google, it’s something called Symphysis Pubis Dysfunction and I have to be very careful during delivery to prevent doing permanent damage to my pelvis. That alone is making me want to be induced or even really think about having a C-section. I do not want to end this pregnancy and still not be able to walk more than 10 steps before I have to sit down. I used to be able to go for a walk at night with Mike for about 30 minutes…not any more! I’m lucky to make it from the family room to the bathroom during the day and from our bedroom to the bathroom at night. It’s just terrible!

Anyone else have any ideas or suggestions? I need to get groceries and one trip includes going to WalMart, where I thought I'd look for an exercise (birth) ball. I sat on one at our childbirth class last weekend and it did feel a bit better. I am just SOOOO freaking worried about permanent damage.

posted by Kerry @ 9:45 AM   0 comments

Friday, June 16, 2006

NST and OB update

Had the NST today, baby Z was his usually semi-cooperative self. LOL He eventually passed but it was almost more of a draw. I think the nurse got tired to having to stimulate him, little bugger. Of course as soon as the monitors were off he was back to the kicking wiggling machine he can be...but do not ask him to cooperate! LOL

Afterward I saw BabeDoc. She said baby looked fine on the test to her, he's doing great. I'm so tired today that I feel like I could just curl up and cry. LOL Had to repeat the urine test as I had something that starts with an "L" in my first sample so they wanted to recheck it. Guess I'll get a call later this afternoon if it's something that needs more care. BabeDoc said it was white blood cells and could be a silent infection or something like that. I trust she'll take care of me.

I finally gained one whole pound! Blood pressure was 114/80 so pretty much perfect. Not sure on the belly measurement but she says everything is going fine. I mentioned my fear of having a 12 pound newborn, she assured me he won't be much more than 7 to 8 pounds. It's normal for him to be around 5 pounds now...he's not a super giant. I guess we'll see sooner or later. I'm all kinds of down today so I'd be fine if he decided to come now. I wouldn't be fine, actually. I'd be freaked out as I know he's too small to breath on his own and would need to stay in the NICU. I want to avoid that as much as possible, so I'll take a nap and suck it up and stay pregnant at least another month. Just over 6 weeks until my due date...I can still remember being 6 weeks pregnant. I can do it...I can make it. I will make it.

Not much else going on. Next NST is next Friday, then the week after that is another NST followed by my most exciting OB appt to date...the pelvic exams start. Oh joy! That must mean I'm getting close, right???? I'm hoping to be a tiny bit dilated at least!!!! After all the babies I've had, I should be. LOL

posted by Kerry @ 1:17 PM   0 comments

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

house woes

Selling a house is a nightmare. I just got off the phone with our Realtor, we have a weekly feedback phone showings for us this past week, it seems the market is just real slow right now. Frustrating, but what can I do?

This neighborhood though has one new listing and 2 houses under contract this week. I asked what we can do to increase traffic to our house, get people inside to see how big this house is, basically we're all at a loss.

Of the two houses that are under contract, one is a bi-level which I personally hated living in. You have no choice but to always go up and down the stairs...there is really no main living level. The front yard was so-so looking, nothing to write home about but maybe the new owners to be like to landscape? The major thing this house has that we do not...a two car garage.

The second house, well the one I'm going to assume is under contract as there are 2 within a block of each other and I forgot the address that our Realtor told me, is a tri level. Again it's got a 2 car garage. Very nice looking yard as well. Hell, I'd probably chose to buy it over my house! LOL But the major difference, my house is DOUBLE the square footage than that pretty little tri level house. And even though we won't know the actual sales price until well after closing, I do know it was listed about $8000 less than my house. But come on...we're offering a HUGE house! Yes it's a one car garage, but we have the land to actually build a 2 car detached garage around the back yard. Or even to put a car port next to the garage. We have a HUGE lot, we're on a curve in the road. And it's a very quiet part of the subdivision.

I do know that backing up to apartments is a big downfall, but there is nothing I can do about that. Maybe if we hadn't taken down the forest of trees 5 years ago that would be helpful, but we did that to actually have a usable backyard for the daycare. Maybe we should build our own 8 foot fence since the one back there maintained by the apartment complex is looking super horribly shabby and about to fall down...but again we can't afford to put more money into this house. As it is, IF we get our current asking price, we're barely going to make back the money we put into this house over the last 3 years. No way are we going to make back all the money Mike has put into it in the past 11 years, but that's because we used a major portion of the equity to pay off our cars a few years ago. But still. We have to make money off this house!

We haven't dropped our price just yet, the Realtor hasn't felt it necessary yet. Mike and I are talking about it we won't be shocked when it is brought up. We just need one family to need a 5 bedroom 2 bath 3000 square foot house for under $200,000. Just one family. I know that family is out there, and maybe God knows it would be too hard on us to have to move out right when Zachary is due to be born...maybe that family won't see our house and make an offer until Zachy arrives...but I sure need some traffic to lift my spirits. I hadn't cleaned up the house in a week because I'm so down on it...and today when I decided to go ahead and vacuum the family room, I burnt out the belt on my new vacuum! LOL I've only got 1/4 of the room left to vacuum, but still. I need to go to the store anyway, just don't wanna do anything when it's 95 degrees outside!

Any house selling tips from anyone???? Or do you know anyone that is moving to Colorado Springs that needs a nice big house? I promise it's really paint inside and out, new kitchen, gorgeous hardwood floors. It's a ranch that walks out to the huge back yard. If my family still lived here in CO I'd stay here longer...but you know, family and all.

posted by Kerry @ 5:36 PM   0 comments

Sunday, June 11, 2006

ballet recital

Whew, ballet is over...for a week! LOL Haley has decided to dance during the summer in hopes of going on Pointe soon. I am so glad her teacher is letting her come for the summer, even knowing we'll miss some time when baby Zachary arrives! She is just awesome.

The recital was so much fun! Of the last 3 years Haley's danced, I have to say this one was the MOST fun...not just to watch, but for the kids too. Everyone did a great job, even the mistakes were cute! LOL

Here's a picture of my clown...I didn't take very many pictures at all but Mike recorded the show on our camcorder for us, and I bought the DVD that was made! LOL

posted by Kerry @ 12:26 PM   0 comments

Friday, June 09, 2006

oh're SO gonna get grounded one of these days!!!!

Oh my word, are we in for some Trouble with this little guy! LOL Had my appointment for the non stress test (the nurse hooks me up to a fetal heart monitor to listen to his heart HOPING it will increase while he wiggles away in there, as well as another monitor to check for any contractions, of which there were little to none today). Well, baby Zachary decided that he was NOT going to play nicely today…normally this test takes about ½ an hour, I was in there for well over 1 ½ hours just trying to get something on the printout! Finally the nurse took what we did have over to the OB on call and Zachary was deemed fine, but non-reactive enough to be sent for a biophysical profile!

Never having had one of those, I had to look it up online! LOL Here’s the scoop:

What is a biophysical profile?

A detailed ultrasound to observe your baby's body movements, muscle tone (flexing of the arms and legs), and breathing movements (the baby's ability to move his chest muscles and diaphragm), and the amount of amniotic fluid surrounding him.

A non-stress test to assess whether your baby's heart rate changes when he's moving. For this, you lie on your left side. A technician straps two devices to your belly: One monitors your baby's heartbeat and movement; the other records contractions in your uterus. The technician listens to and watches your baby's heartbeat on an electronic screen.

What do the results mean?

Each of the five components — body movements, muscle tone, breathing movements, amniotic fluid, and heartbeat — is assigned a score of either 0 (abnormal) or 2 (normal). These scores are added up for a total score ranging from 0 to 10. In general, a total score of 8 or 10 is normal, 6 is considered borderline, and below 6 is worrisome.

The initial fears were pretty high, we found out Matthew had died right there in Penrose’s ultrasound room. Lucky for me, having just listened to Zachary for 1 ½ hours, and feeling him squirm a little bit, I was able to keep talking myself into “he’s fine, he’s just being stubborn, the doctor is just doing her job…nothing is wrong”. And thankfully it worked and was the right mantra!
Zachary is VERY stubborn. The ultrasound tech giggled at him the whole 45 minutes she was trying to get all the scores and measurements done. Even she had to wiggle him a bit. LOL I guess little Zach has a bit more of Mommy in him than we thought!

As of today, I am 32 weeks 4 days pregnant, and Zachary himself is measuring at 34 weeks 4 days gestation, a full 2 weeks ahead of the game. He weighed in at FIVE pounds 4 ounces!!!!! I think we’re having a giant instead of a baby next month! I asked when babies are supposed to turn head down and start to engage as Zachary has never stayed in the same position for more than a couple of hours in the past few months…case in point today he is breach, his head is in the left side of my ribs and his feet are hanging low in my bladder. Silly boy. No one is worried he’s still wiggling everywhere, I guess it’s closer to 38 or 39 weeks that they want him to stay head down…but there are tons of babies that flip right before delivery. I have a feeling this will be one of those babies…

Anyway, that’s our update! LOL Next appt is another non stress test followed by an OB visit next Friday. Who knows, if Zachary keeps up his antics, we may have yet another ultrasound / biophysical profile then too! LOL

posted by Kerry @ 1:30 PM   2 comments

Monday, June 05, 2006

forgot the update!

Oops, sorry about that, been a bit busy lately! LOL

So, the NST and OB visit. Nothing earth shaking, other than at 8:30 AM baby is anything but cooperative! LOL I told the nurse that he was sleeping, he is awake around 5 or 6 AM every day, until shortly before 8, then he's out for a good 2 hours. EVERY DAY. She was determined he was sleepy because I didn't eat breakfast, shoot I was lucky to get to the appt on time showered! LOL I never eat before 9 unless I don't have dinner...that's just me. Anyway, she got me some apple juice to wake him up, proceeded to tell me 50 ways to make him move (all of which I've done at least once before...well except for the spoon thing) and then we watched him not cooperate on the monitor for a while. Apparently at not quite 32 weeks he's not expected to do a whole heck of a lot, so he passed the test.

The OB visit was short and sweet, since the nurse did all my vitals already. I didn't have a gain this time, but I also didn't lose the three pounds from the prior visit! Blood pressure was really pretty! I need to up my water somehow...not sure how but I'm trying. All in all, good visit. Belly measured at 34 weeks, we talked about how big he might be at birth, doc thinks 7 to 7 1/2 pounds is all! I kind of laughed, who really knows how big he'll be??

I'm scheduled all through June for weekly NST's and every other week OB visits. Then, if you can believe it, it will be JULY and I'll be going to the OB weekly and possibly more often for the NST's. Wow. I really can't believe it's getting close to July.

One other thing BabeDoc and I chatted about was the pelvic pain. We talked about how severe it is (oh my GOD is hurts!!), what makes it a tiny bit better and what makes it worse. We talked briefly on delivery...specifically on NOT being on my back during it. All in all, things are going really well. I'm finally feeling like a normal pregnant person, instead of the uber high risk I started out being. It's weird! LOL

posted by Kerry @ 9:20 PM   0 comments