I'm just me: wife to Mike for 9 years, mom to three great kids I can hug and kiss every day and one babe I can't wait to hold in my arms again one day soon. I'm always looking to improve my faith life and be a better wife and mother.
Or maybe teething? Zachary woke up this morning...wait, let me back up.
Yesterday was TERRIBLE! A day of not good sleep overnight, meaning he was up 4 times during the night to nurse, so he was already tired when he got up in the morning. His morning nap was super short...maybe 30 minutes. He was fussy all day, and his afternoon nap was even worse than his morning nap! By the time we had to go to PT for Haley I was praying he'd just sleep in the car and all through therapy. No such luck...he was WIDE awake in the car, all crazy in PT and wide awake on the way home. Ugh. So...after dinner he got a bubble bath and then went right to bed. I think it was 7:45? He woke up at 11 PM...right when I was falling asleep. I have this new thing where I sit up in bed, listen to his fussing to see if it's reajustment or actual needing me crying and take action from there. 11 PM was serious need me crying! I got him and put him in bed with Mike and I...and he nursed voraciously for a good 10 minutes! LOL He's a speedy nurser now. Anyway...he got done with both sides and proceeded to wiggle and squirm and crawl on me, but with his eyes closed. Ah ha! That's HIS sign to me that he needs to be in HIS bed...so off to bed I took him. Turned on his pooh bear and kissed him and laid him down. I went back to bed and to sleep. At 3:15 AM he cried out. I can't even remember if I sat up this time, but I listened to his fussing...and it ended before too long. I went back to sleep, and woke up at 6:05 AM, to him STILL sleeping! Baby boy finally slept ALL night...since early June!! he woke up at 7:35 and I put him in bed with me to nurse. We slept, thankfully, until 9 AM! As a side note, when I got him out of bed at 7:35 he was chilly to the touch everywhere his skin was bare. His arms and hands, his cheeks, his feet and a little bit of leg where his jammie pants were not covering. At 9 AM he was HOT to the touch. This is a baby that hasn't had but one fever in his life but always feels hot to the touch. We got up out of bed and went downstairs, I found the thermometer and low and behold...100.6. Not high by any means, but a slight fever. I gave him some Motrin at 9:45 and actually got him to eat some breakfast and drink some water. At 11 AM I put him down for his nap. He slept for 45 minutes and woke up SCREAMING!!!!!!!!! and CRYING!!!!!!! and just really not happy with me!!!!!! It took me a full half hour of trying every trick in the book to figure something out and calm him a smidge. Goldfish crackers rule! At about 12:45 I got him settled in the high chair without screaming and gave him some lunch. He ate some but not much. He had a bit more water. Amazingly enough, once he had some food in his belly, he was less grouchy! He walked around, played with a toy or two and I put on his crack, err, Baby Signs DVD. Love that Baby Einstein! He was, for the first time today, a happy boy. I just now laid him down for his second nap. LOL there went that short lived happiness. Somewhere along the line I found a blog that talked a LOT about their baby's sleep issues and linked to another blog that talked about a sleep pattern that most babies over 6 months of age tend to have. Basically it says that a baby is ready for their first nap 2 hours after they wake up in the morning, ready for the second nap 3 hours after waking from the first, and they are ready for bed 4 hours after waking from the second nap. Zachary, blessedly, is pretty true to this pattern. It just took him 10 long hard sleepless months to figure it out! So...he's down for nap #2. I hope it's longer than the last few naps! We'll deal with the grumpies if they appear again. I wish I knew what was up...other than I think it's a toss up of a delayed reaction to his last vaccinations a week ago, or he's teething a LOT of invisible teeth. Based on the little biting trick he pulled this morning, I'm leaning towards teeth! I just really hope it's not something like TEN at once!!!
For the last five years I've been keeping up with a journal online of a family here in town. Their son, at age 2, was diagnosed with Cancer. Today, after a long battle, he died.
I can not tell you how incredibly sad that makes me. And bigger than that...I can't even begin to understand or feel his parents' and little sisters' and extended family's grief. True I've buried a child, but not one that I held and watched take his last breath.
May the peace of Christ be with this family as their son now takes up his wings and flies to his new journey. You've touched so many lives little one, thank you for letting me peek into the tiniest part of your heart.
I had a job interview today! Considering I have not worked one day in the last 3 years (basically since the day we found out Matthew had died) and for not working for anyone other than my husband for the past, what, 9 years???, I think it went pretty well! I'll find out later this week if I'm hired, and then maybe I'll spill the details here too.
I am pretty excited about the thought of this job. It's a job I found myself, I thought about getting myself. Mike has been supportive of me, he's really not sure if me working is a good thing for our family or not. I don't have to work, but I'm personally tired of making the family just get by and maybe once a month doing something fun. Selfishly I want a new car and I know we won't ever get it if I don't help earn it. And bonus, it's within walking distance and Zachy would be there with me every day!
Sheesh, I need to stop letting certain people in my life annoy the ever living hell out of me! I'd be much happier and less stressed if I could only remember that small fact!!!!!
NO CANCER!!!!!! My dad had his hip surgery on Thursday about an hour after we got home. The doc did a biopsy of the mass there and we got results today. NO CANCER!
The 2 very small spots in his lung from nearly a year ago are being very naughty though. They have merged into one mass and are now as big as a golf ball. In a few more days, when he's a bit stronger, he'll have a lung biopsy. I can not wait to hear the news from that...but will pray it's the news we are told by the cancer doc. He's thinking, based on my dad's back surgery, recovery and then the hip issue and now surgery, that he's got calcification in that lung. I pray he's right. I pray and pray and pray it's not what the doomsday Pulmonologist told my sister. That's too scary to type right now. But it was very very bad. It's the kind of bad you don't shout from the tops of the hills, but rather scream sadly into the depths of the pillows.
Please God, please give my Daddy a break. Let the lung be free from cancer and if it is anything, let it be easily treated. He's really had enough stuff happen to him for now. Living with Alzheimer's should have been enough. Ok, throw in Emphysema, but that's enough. No cancer, ok? He's such a good man, he worked hard all his life to make a great life for his wife and kids. He's a wonderful PaPa to his grandkids, even to the little baby one that he's really not sure belongs to anyone in his family. I can accept that. I was hoping he'd remember a tiny bit of Zachy...remember that he was given his family name to carry along. But even that is gone. So God, no cancer, ok? Let him live out his days in peace and just deal with losing the rest of himself to the nasty ugly Alzheimer's Disease.
Today was so fun...little boy had a great day. He refused his morning nap so was up until nearly 3 PM. He took a THREE hour nap afterward! I am currently uploading pictures to my Flickr account but for now I have a silly little camera video:
I can hardly believe it's been an entire year that I've known this little tiny baby
I can hardly believe that my little tiny baby has now grown up to a walking talking toddler
I can hardly believe that I haven't known you MY entire life, since I've loved you your entire life. Thank you for being my son. Thank you for restoring my heart and filling my soul with greatness and love. Thank you for letting me be your Mama.
Today "should" be hip surgery day. I only say should as my dad's primary doctor's on call doc (confused yet?) decided that the masses in his lung need to be biopsied NOW. He didn't know we knew about them for the past what, six months? So...all three doctors should be confrencing today and hopefully this morning. I'm off to the hospital in a few minutes and will be there all day.
Pray, for the surgery, for my dad, and my mom. She's tired and weary already. And I have no clue when I'll be heading home.
Pray please. My Dad had an appointment today with his back surgeon. His back is 100% healed and fine...but his hip has been giving him problems and causing so much terrible pain since about January. Today we (mom, dad, sister and I) went to see the doctor and gave him Dad's latest CT scan report. He decided to do x-rays right there in his office and I went with him in the room.
Dad is having hip surgery on Monday. He's supposed to be in the hospital right this very minute but there are NO beds open. We're "on call" so when the first patient checks out, Dad will get a room. He's going in for pain management and surgery is Monday.
I'm supposed to leave here on Monday. Not now. I am going to take it day by day. I have been saying I have to be home by Wednesday the 18th...my birthday. I can't be gone for Zachary's first birthday. I don't want Mike to miss Zachary's birthday. Well, I very well might have to do just that. And I might have to cancel his birthday party on Saturday. I have no clue what to do other than to be here for my Dad, Mom and sister.
And one from today...he's not walking all the time yet, but I'm guessing by his birthdy or shortly thereafter he will leave the crawling behind! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9cwxOOu8D6g
Hello again. I don't think I've blogged this much in years! :)
Things are going pretty well still here. Zachary is not doing so great right this moment, he's supposed to be taking his nap and instead he's screaming and crying! Poor bug, he's so exhausted. I might get him up (again, this is my second attempt at getting him down for his nap this morning) and try to nurse him to sleep (again, first time he ended up getting down to play).
The little boy is growing too fast. He's saying real live other people can understand them types of words. He's making actual animal sounds. He is picking up signs quicker and doing them a lot more visibly as well. He's walking a TON! He has FOUR teeth!
For my own records, since the baby book is at home 1125 miles away, I'm going to list all the signs and words he knows here.
Signs: up, down, nurse, all done/finished, bye bye, fan, dog, no (via shaking his head AND saying it), airplane, swing, yes, eat, please, more, and I know there are more that I can't think of right now!
Words: no, uh uh, uh oh, yes, nurse, meow, woof, mama, dada, papa, gamma (or something like that, for Gramma), eat, more, light, fan, moo, duck, and again, I'm sure there are more. It's hard to think of them off the top of my head when he's not actually up talking!
He's quiet...I think he's finally given in to the sleepies! I hope he'll take a decent nap now so that he won't be cranky this afternoon. I'm planning on us going to church at 4, there is a Youth Mass at the church a couple blocks from her house.
My dad's hip is causing so much pain. My mom ended up giving him a pain pill last night and again this morning. He's got an appointment with the back surgeon on Wednesday...hopefully he can give us a prescription for a good pain pill that will work!
Mom's got painters here to give her a quote for the kitchen, living room and dining room. She got a great quote on carpet and pad too for the living and dining rooms. Her house is going to look so nice, the outside has new siding and looks amazing! There is one more exterior project of having a "roof" of sorts built over her driveway and ramp to the front door...that will make it so nice and shady finally.
Zachary just last night decided to use the leg of a folding card table to stand up, immediately let go of it and WALK on his own all the way around it!!!! He did all kinds of walking without holding on last night! He's very impressed with himself. And, his fourth tooth popped through last night! I tell you, he's growing way to fast for this mama!
Mathochist, how's your MIL? Thanks for the prayers for my Dad. We'll just hold each other up during these trials! Not much else we can do, but we sure can pray. Hope you're having a good trip...Mike asked me again when I was coming home and then implied he wanted me to stay through one more weekend. I might do that...I might stay until the 16th, but I'm not sure exactly what all is going on that week at home that I might need to be home before Tuesday.
I'll try and keep my blog updated and read others daily to keep in touch!
I think I may have actually taken a wrong turn on my trek down to TX. It's been overcast and rainy since I got here. Well, not rainy. DOWNPOUR type rainy. Severe thunderstorms, lightening, wind and so much rain. It's no wonder my allergies are so bad, there's so much mold outside it's terrible.
I'm so glad I came this time. My Dad is ok, maintaining even, but he looks terrible. He's in so much pain in his hip that he can barely walk. He's stooped over and he's lost so much weight. He doesn't do anything anymore, he sits in his recliner or sits in his chair outside...maybe once in a while he'll play cards with my Mom and sister but more often than not he's just sitting. My dad has never been an idle person so this is all very odd behavior. The report of his last CT scan was not good. Very not good in fact. He has another appointment with the oncologist in a couple weeks and then he'll go in for a biopsy of his hip. There are two possibliities. First is the spot at his hip will not be cancer but will instead be his actual hip bone deteriorated and crumbled away...which will most likely lead to a hip replacement. Second would be cancer in his bones. I really have no clue which option would suck less. He's now had 2 surgeries in the last 4 months...one was a major operation that set him back a lot. The second was a couple of weeks ago and didn't appear to have as much of an impact on his faculties. The Alzheimer's is advancing...he's really not sure of my presence here. He knows me, but he's not sure if I've been here for a while, if I live here, or if I just showed up each time he sees me. And he has no clue who Zachary is or why he's here. That makes me sad.
Anyway...I'm goinig through a few emotions I guess. Or at least quite a few thoughts and feelings are running amok in my head. I am glad to be here but I miss my husband so much right now. I'm staying one more week before we head home.
I worry most that I'll have to come back down here sooner than we (my little family) want to come. Does that make sense to anyone other than me?
Big BIG news...Zachary is doing a LOT of walking. I will save that for later though...it's very exciting!
