whiny baby tales

I got a call from my sister tonight that a friend of the family had been found dead in his home. I am so saddened by this news...the wife is a very very dear friend of my parents and she is currently out of town taking care of her elderly mom. She was calling home every day to talk to her husband, but the past 2 days hasn't been able to reach him. Thinking she was being paranoid or silly, she called a neighbor to go to my parents house and get her house key to go inside and just make sure things are all ok. Normally my dad would have been the one to go over and check, but he just had foot surgery last Friday and isn't allowed to be up and walking yet. For that I'm very thankful, as the friend found the husband, dead in the bed. That is NOT what you expect to find, no matter that he was in his 70's.




"D" has been such a wonderful friend to my parents for so many years now. Her husband "J" was not overly social, but he too was a great friend. I know my parents are heartbroken, but I can't even imagine how "D" is feeling right now. She's 2000 miles away from home and has many decisions to make. They're hard enough when you're right there, but to have to get home first is enough to make anyone tense.




Lots of prayers tonight for "D" as she's got so much to deal with. I wish there was a way I could get down there for the funeral, or at least for a weekend visit, as "D" is so much more than just my parents' friend. She's my friend too...and I just want her to know how much I care.

It happened last night again. I woke up (I can't really call it "woke" up, since I really don't feel like I slept at all, but whatever) flat on my stomach again. And again felt not pregnant. I am sure that the baby is fine, he's currently kicking me, but for most of today he's had me worrying. Silly baby. I have 2 friends that have Doppler's that will allow me to come over and listen to him at any time, and I was thinking of calling one an hour ago. Instead, while Haley and I were running a few errands and stopped for lunch I got a pop instead of lemonade or water. He's awake now! LOL




My allergies have been wicked this week. I have had several 10 minute long sneezing fits quite a few days this week. I hate it! I'm taking Benadryl, which I was told last pregnancy was safe to take, and it seems to be doing mostly ok. I have taken 2 Benadryl a day for the past 2 days so I'm wondering if the baby is just sleepier due to that.




Or it could be this growth spurt thing I've heard about recently on my due in July lists. LOL A couple of ladies have been worried about the typically wiggling baby not being as wiggly so they've gone to their docs. Everything is fine for them, just seems to be a sleepier time for the baby while s/he is growing. So I'm trying to keep that in mind as well as the Benadryl thing. Sleepy baby and all that versus dead baby. Ugh.




I do have to say that the dead baby thoughts are not near as rampant as they were a month ago and I am SO glad for that. I can feel the baby every day with at least one good amount of movement a day. Thank God for that. LOL But when I'm flat on my stomach and it feels flat and empty I worry that I've squished the poor thing right out of me.




I know it's not possible for him to slip out unnoticed (I felt every contraction and the entire delivery with Matthew and he was a peanut, this one is bigger so far) and I'm quite sure he won't just reabsorb, but damn. Pregnancy after a loss sucks major kinds of ass. Is it July yet??? Can it be time for him to be born healthy and alive yet???? I don't want a micro preemie, but 36 weeks is sounding pretty good to me right now. 13. 2 weeks until that time, right? I can do that. The first 13 weeks were slow torturous drawn out weeks, but these 13 weeks will fly by...right???




**** EDITED TO ADD:
Baby woke up. LOL I swear he's going to do "nothing" one day when he's, oh 7 years old, and I'm going to remember the stress of this pregnancy and ground his butt! LOL Poor boy, momma has a reason and you won't have a clue! LOL

I swear I am the most boring person around lately. I have plenty to do but not near enough ambition to do it. LOL




Yesterday was a big day for me...I finished the cruise album for my aunt and uncle! Now I'm just waiting on the shipment from our new vendor to arrive that has their actual album in it! LOL Price wise I think I did good...just over $100 in products (retail price even) and then my hours, I tracked them and charged them a (low) hourly rate. Family discount, you know. Anyway, I'm pleased with the album and happy with the price so hopefully they will be too.




Not much going on around here. Well, there is but it's stressful and depressing. LOL Mike has been working his butt off on this house to get it ready to go on the market. It's down to the wire for us to get it going so we can sell it quickly. At least we hope we can sell it quickly. Ugh. What if it doesn't sell is our biggest fear. Mike has put so much into this house these past 11 years I'd hate to lose it due to our snail's pace at getting it listed. Worry worry, fret fret. Ugh.




Baby is doing good as far as I know. He does have an annoying habit that I could do without...about 4 days a week he is very low key, or just turned in such a way that I don't feel him move much at all. This morning I woke up flat on my stomach and seriously didn't even feel like I was pregnant. That scares me to no end...but I know he can't just reabsorb. This whole pregnancy after a loss shit is for the birds. Next OB appt is next week and I really want a game plan. Specifically I want another u/s to check the old placenta because I'm sick of the "no sex" dealio.




I was actually thinking about that...why is it that we can go for weeks and weeks without having sex and it's no big deal, but now that the doctor says it out loud it sucks so much ass? Mike summed it up pretty well. It's like saying no more cookies. You don't necessarily want any cookies, but just the being told you can not have any makes you want them. I totally agree with that statement and the no sex rule. I want my cookies back dammit! LOL




I found a crib bedding set that I fell in love with on ebay. I think we're all set now for the baby's room...well except for an actual room to put him in! LOL I'm still looking for a bassinet for him but not working real hard on it either. Friends of ours from church gave us a stroller they had for their first (he's one, new baby girl is due in May) and it holds our infant car seat!!! That excites me way more than it should I'm sure. I finally decided that when we get to 28 weeks I'll get more serious about going to Babies R Us and starting a registry. Not that I am expecting anything but I have so many people already asking us what we want or need. A registry would be way more helpful than me constantly telling people. Or at least way less annoying. LOL




I have nothing. Some complaining about the house, but that's about it. Ugh.

I went to a big garage sale today and got a bunch of clothes. I washed and dried them all and now I have a laundry basket FULL of gowns, sleepers, onesies, outfits and socks! LOL If this baby turns out to be a girl, well she'll be dressed in blue head to toe for her first couple of months! LOL




I was looking for a bassinet as well but didn't find one. I think that's about the only "big" item we need right away. My SIL is giving us her pack n play that has the bassinet top, but it's too big to fit in our bedroom. The bassinet might be as well, but there's a small space I have a tall dresser in that can be moved to fit the bassinet if need be. I've been thinking a lot about the things I had for years and sold. Everything basically needed for a baby I had since the daycare closed...and I sold the last of everything in September. Got pregnant in October...couldn't see that coming could you? LOL I have a small wish list going on Amazon from looking around Babies R Us online...and I am seriously thinking it might be a nice idea to have a baby shower. I have never had one for any of the other kids so this would be my first and Mike's first. We'll see. I mentioned it to my sister and one of my SIL's so I'm sure word will get around. LOL




Today baby decided I was doing way too much (not sure how as all I did was some driving, some walking, some shopping around WalMart...nothing major or unusual!) and he firmly planted some body part of other (or all?) in my left hip socket/pelvic area. OUCH!!! I laid back in my recliner as close to upside down as I could get without actually falling on my head for about 10 minutes and he finally moved. Thank God! That was some seriously painful positioning little man!!! Try to not make a habit out of that spot, ok???




What else? Really not too much. Mike is WAY stressed out, working too many hours to do anything around the house so he's not getting anything done so it's still not on the market. We're now firmly set on not moving until the baby arrives just in case I need a c-section, but we have to sell this house soon. It's killing us both and I'm not even the one working! I am going to ask a few people from our church if they could help with the exterior work that will be ready to go in a week or so...power wash the house and deck, stain the deck and some fences, then caulk/seal the house, prime the house and then paint it. I'm thinking it's a good 5 or so days worth of work and we could use 3 or 4 people to help Mike. That and a wee bit of landscape in the front and back will have the outside totally done. Inside is going well, the fireplace project turned into a project from hell but it's close to being done (finally!), then he's got to seal and caulk the three new windows inside and out. Other than more packing and a good thorough cleaning, oh and another freaking garage sale, the inside is just about done as well. See...we're close, but just not there yet. I'd love to have the house listed in 2 weeks...so we'll see.




That's it from here. I'm beat!

Today's doctor appt (with the nurse practitioner) was pretty boring! LOL Not that I mind that in the least, but if they're all like this I might just be persuaded to go every 4 weeks instead of every 2. LOL




Gained 2 pounds, I think I'm back to pre-preg starting weight again, blood pressure was NORMAL (120/80) for the second appt in a row! I did have +1 in the urine, she said I just need to drink more water. I swear I feel like I'm drinking non stop all day long as it is, but I'm trying to step it up a bit. I did ask about the Raspberry Iced Tea, it's fine to have but like I figured just in moderation. Caffeine, you know. Anyway...didn't get baby's heart rate this time but it was just as sweet as always. For the first time at this visit I had my belly measured! I didn't ask what it measured and she didn't say so it must have been fine. I go back to my doc in 2 weeks.




I can handle these boring normal appts, especially now that I can feel baby boy every day. He really is a wiggle machine, but I love it. Last night right before bed I decided he needed to give me a kick or two (hush, he'll forgive me! LOL) and when he wouldn't I rolled over more on my belly than my side to go to sleep. Well you know that woke him up...and he was not very happy! LOL I often wonder if he's sideways or up and down as I feel kicks and pokes in certain places almost all the time now rather than the all over wiggles I had a few weeks ago. He really seems to favor my right side just in front of my hip socket. It's more gentle there so I wonder if that is his hands rather than his feet?




I also want a game plan for the rest of this pregnancy. When will we do the GTT specifically? When will we do the next u/s to check on the wayward placenta? And the biggy for me, will she induce me at 38 weeks? I'm starting to feel pretty adamant about not waiting for him to come on his own...and I'm not sure exactly why.

Are you sure it's mid March? LOL









School is closed, we don't have spring break until next week, and I am NOT leaving this house at all today! LOL









All three of the cats are acting like their asses are on fire, which is typical when it's shitty outside. They're so going to love living in TX! LOL Gus finally went outside, jumped up in the window sill and stared in at us! LOL Jazzy jumped up on the couch and tried her damnedest to push him off the window sill...only problem was she was IN the house and he was not! LOL









How's your Spring going so far?

well, on Monday! LOL But I tend to jump the gun and change on the weekends. I'm impatient, what can I say?




Two nights ago just as we were going to sleep the baby woke up and started kicking more out front than he normally does, so I had Mike put his hand where he was kicking most to see if he could feel the baby kick. Of course we have the world's most ornery baby on the way so as soon as it wasn't MY hand on my belly, the baby stopped kicking! LOL




Well, just a bit ago he started kicking and wiggling, I'm guessing he was turning over as it was pretty lengthy kicking. Anyway, Mike is at work, of course, so I had Haley come feel. I slid her hand under mine and then had her press down a bit (she freaked at first, doesn't that hurt him? LOL) Anyway...at first I thought he was done, but he finally kicked twice for his big sister to feel! Now I can't wait for Mike to feel him...he's really getting strong and his kicks are getting really deliberate instead of just all random movements. I have felt him roll over twice now this week...getting himself all comfy again!




That's it...just rambling about the little nameless man! LOL

I was at Haley's school this afternoon, chaperoning kids during the state testing that needed to get a drink or go to the bathroom, and one of the other volunteers says "Oh you must be counting down the days until the baby comes!" I said no, I'm not due until July and her eyes about popped out of her head. "You're going to have a HUGE baby!" she says. What the???




Dude, I'm FAT. Five months or so pregnant with my fourth one and fat make me look a little bigger than some super skinny first time pregnant chics, but seriously. I do NOT look like I'm about to pop at all.

We went by the other driver's house this morning to get a couple of pictures of the front of her car...basically no damage. LOL






Anyway...right in the middle of all that red paint is where her black plastic license plate frame used to be...it ended up stuck in the middle of his back doors.





Nice little dent, eh? The car is a total loss...it's worth about $2000 and the damage is estimated to start at $4000. Guess the boy will be finding a new ride eventually.

Gosh it's been a week that I could almost do without!




Monday was busy getting orders from the sale packaged and then going to the post office. After that (usually takes me a good 2 hours from printing the orders off to getting out of the post office in one piece! LOL) I spent a ton of time on the phone with accountant...we OWE taxes this year :( I am so bummed! But it's done, the Aeration business is officially done and closed and our personal taxes are ready to be mailed off to the IRS when we come up with hundreds of dollars that we have to send them. Ugh.




About 1/2 an hour after I got off the phone with the accountant my cell phone rings and it's Micheal. It's right about the time he leaves school to go to work so I'm thinking maybe his car won't start or something??? Nope, it's the phone call a parent doesn't want to get from their still newly licensed driving teen...he's been in a car accident!









He was sitting at a light ready to turn left, and the light changed yellow. He says it was clear and he was looking, but just as he started to go a car came out of no where and t-boned him. He ended up spinning about a complete 360, stopped in the oncoming lane of traffic going the wrong way. I was FREAKED out as we were driving down there and all I could see was a sea of red and blue lights. Fire truck, ambulance and FIVE police cars.




Thankfully Micheal is fine. He's freaked out now and hasn't driven since the accident and isn't showing any signs of wanting to. I'm going to have to push the issue soon and "make" him...like riding a bike or horse, once you've fallen off there is a fear of getting back on. I don't want him afraid to drive forever. He did get ticketed for the accident. Well, technically not the accident. He got a ticket for making an unsafe left turn (I think that's what the official ticket is for) because here they have a fucked up law that no matter the circumstances YOU get ticketed for making a left turn. Same with being in a rear end crash...last car in the back gets a ticket. So Micheal is not happy about that, his insurance is going to go up big time and his car is totaled. He's bummed. We haven't even started thinking about finding him another car...with liability only insurance and him being "at fault" there is no coverage to replace his car. Shit shit shit SHIT! Oh well. Biggest thing is he is ok. The car replacing will happen eventually...but I can't replace my son.




So that was basically my Monday...run around and take care of pretty much EVERYTHING. Tuesday was more of the same, running around fixing problems and dealing with life. Today I did another post office run (the sale is going really well!) then went to get Mike's signature on the taxes to get them taken care of, went to the bank and picked the boy up from school. I really loved having him drive himself around. Oh well. We leave in about 1/2 an hour for ballet...that was on Monday too...so we won't be home until 7 or 7:30 tonight. I'm POOPED! LOL




Tomorrow, hopefully, I will do some scrapbooking. I have to get the cruise album done in the next 2 weeks as well as a little swap I'm in. Scrapping is SO relaxing I can't wait to jump in and do it.




I went to the therapist yesterday and have been deemed "mentally ok" LOL. I don't have to go back to see her unless or until I need to, but she does want to keep in touch. She's concerned about the placenta previa and would LOVE to hear that it's resolved itself. I'm ok if it doesn't as long as I can still make it to 35 weeks or more. I'd be FINE with a scheduled C-section...at least then it takes out the waiting for labor to start issue! LOL




Baby is doing great. We went from just wiggling around to BIG kicks and moves. I love it. I am noticing that I have the hardest time eating enough during the day...I am just not hungry much anymore. Right now I'm munching on some carrots and veggie dip, so when I do eat it's healthy! But when it comes to meals during the day...I do good if I get one full meal in me. I am keeping up with my water though...and have recently discovered that I LOVE raspberry iced tea! LOL I now know that Sonic, Taco Bell and Subway all have it here! LOL




Ok, that's enough outta me.

So my sister jumped the gun a wee bit and put the entire store on sale at 50% off a week earlier than I planned! LOL That's ok though...in four days we're 1/2 way to our goal to open an account with a new vendor!!! Do you scrapbook? Do you want to start? Go to our site at www.scrapnsisters.com and then find the shop now button. That will take you to the store where you'll see the big SALE going on!




Have fun!

It's been 2 years. That blows my mind. Happy birthday Matthew, I hope you're having an extra special day today doing whatever it is you love so much to do. One day I'll find out but for now, know that we all miss you and think of you often.




Ever since the concert on Sunday this baby has been acting different. Like he's more mellow? I'm not sure. Anyway, last night I started to freak out just a tiny bit and he started wiggling for me. Today he's not wiggling, he's kicking. But then again I was sleeping on my stomach instead of my side like I've been trying to do, so no wonder he kicked! LOL I just am so glad I can feel him moving at all right now. Getting through this week hasn't been the hardest thing in the world, but if I never had felt this baby at all I'm thinking I'd be a huge mess. So thank you baby for being a wiggle worm already!

BP is normal (130/84 I think?), gained a pound and baby sounded awesome! We talked about the concert we went to Sunday (five hours, 7 Christian artists and did I mention LOUD? LOL) and how baby reacted. Doctor said he'll be fine...no hearing damage could have happened. I know, I have to find something to worry about all the time, right?




I'm going back to the doc in 2 weeks! Big step for me, right? LOL My doc is going on a family vacation next week so we'll skip that week, but I did meet the on call nurse that will see me in a heartbeat if I need to. Have I ever said how much this office rocks? Totally.




Doc asked me how I'm doing now that I'm at 19 weeks. I'm doing really well. I have this week off from the therapist and go next week. We'll slow that down more too. I am now able to see that Matthew's life and pregnancy is NOT the same as this baby's life and pregnancy. Every aspect of this pregnancy has been totally different than Matthew's and once I stopped trying to compare them and act like they were one I calmed WAY down. Amazing, eh? LOL




Matthew's 2nd birthday is Friday. I can not think of much of anything to do this year to celebrate him. On his due date the first year we named a star after him, last year on his first birthday Haley baked him a cake. I thought of him on his due date last year but didn't spend the day in tears like I figured I would. In fact, I was in TX with my parents and sister and we had a blast that day shopping, sharing meals and playing games. That is what I want to do on Friday. Too bad they're 1200 miles away right now!




I am having lunch with some of my support group friends on Thursday and I'm very much looking forward to that. I wish I was hungry enough to say this is what we're having and this is what you need to bring, since it's at my house and all...but I am just not. I am getting my appetite back slowly though. Ate a TON for lunch (ok, not a ton, but in comparison to the past 2 weeks a ton). What sounds good for a nice relaxing lunch with friends???

I told Mike today we HAVE to come up with a name soon, I called this baby Matthew the other night! LOL




So, our top choice right now is Matthias. What's your opinion...too similar to Matthew? Think I'll keep calling Matthias Matthew? LOL All my growing up years and even a bit still as an adult my sister and I always had our names mixed up by our parents. Kelly and Kerry are pretty similar. LOL We're also still tossing around Dryden for a middle name, to honor my dad and his side of the family.




One other name I really like but think Mike doesn't like much at all, or at least he's tuned it out of his hearing range, is Zachary. We have about 12 names written down to chose from so it's not a done deal at all.




I think I'm finally on the upside of this damn cold. Thank GOD as I was miserable yesterday. I know it's a virus, but it sure felt like sinus infection/bronchitis yesterday. But today I woke up (I finally slept more than 1 1/2 hours!!!) and felt mostly human again. Yippee! I'm still having a Hot and Spicy Chicken sandwich from McDonald's for lunch though...trying to keep the face open! LOL I'm hoping that I have a tad bit of energy today so I can start on a scrapbook album that I have to get done this month. No pressure, right? LOL




Tomorrow we're going to daytime church...seems weird to go before 3:30 anymore. LOL But tomorrow night we're going to a concert with most of the choir from our normal Mass. I am hoping it's a blast. Early dinner at Fazzoli's too...that should be fun. Mike really needs a fun day, so hopefully tomorrow will be everything he's been hoping for since we found out about this concert.




Have a great weekend!

I have to say visits like today could continue for the next 21ish weeks and I'd be one happy person.




Lost another 3 pounds but didn't get scolded. Shoot, I'm sick and just flat out not hungry. As long as the boy is growing well I am sure I can lose a bit more and not be in trouble with the OB. Another amazing thing, I have a pretty decent headache going on (from the cold virus, fun fun) and my blood pressure was the lowest it's been in months. 126/86. Go me. Couldn't pee, went before and after my shower on accident. LOL Baby is swimming somewhere around my belly button pretty regularly now. He's got so much room I swear it's like he's got a diving board in there to decide if he'll go low or high. LOL I had to tell him to move so I could eat dinner last night, he managed to get on top of my stomach (or so it felt...who really knows). Anyway, doc felt the belly to located him, puts the Doppler on and gets a pretty fuzzy but definitely good heartbeat right away. She decides to move the Doppler to get a clearer sound when baby shows her who's boss...he KICKED the Doppler! She got it on him better, for about 2 heartbeats, and he moved. LOL I told her he's ornery...sticking his tongue out at us and everything! LOL She was very pleased, heart rate was in the 150's where it's been almost all the time. He's just like me...stubborn and set in his little ways! I finally can stop telling Mike that this is only his baby...he's going to be a handful like me. LOL




I finally remembered to write down a few questions...mostly pertaining to the u/s results. She said baby looked PERFECT, only tiny cause for concern was something I was not allowed to worry about. I'm pretty sure she would tell me not to Google it too...which I haven't! LOL Oh, that's the placenta location...which is currently looking like previa. But no bleeding or cramping or anything so we're hoping it will move up on it's own. I did ask that if it doesn't and we do a c-section if I could get my bladder lifted and she said no...everything is too stretched out and out of shape and I'd have a hard time getting a good healing in. She wants me to wait for the bladder lift dang it! LOL Oh well...it will get fixed eventually. Another question was on my iron. Back in December it was 10 so I've been on a supplement daily since then. I asked when it would be checked again, normally not until 28 weeks when I'll do the glucose test...but she said let's check it today real quick. LOL It's up to 13 now. What is normal iron level while pregnant? My doctor rocks, btw...she's totally letting me get my way with everything.




Final thing I remembered to ask was about the little bag of goodies they gave me at my first appointment. I forgot to pick it up when I left and have forgotten each time I've been back since then. I finally remembered to write it down, we want to take some classes and the hospital book is in that bag. The nurse took out the prenatal vitamin samples and added in a bonus...TOYS for the baby! LOL He got his first Peek A Blocks today...isn't that fun! LOL I haven't looked in the bag yet to see what else is there, I'll do that soon though.




The day after our u/s last week I asked Mike if it would be ok if one day I bought the baby an outfit. Not like purposely go out shopping and find something, but if I was out and about and saw the "perfect" outfit, if I could get it. We're trying really hard to not spend any extra money right now, we have got to get this house finished up and on the market soon, so all extra funds are going into the house projects. But he did say it would be ok if I found something I couldn't live without. It's been a week and I haven't even tried to find anything...so you see how motivated I am to go shopping! LOL I have a few outfits that were Micheal's when he was newborn that I hope will fit this baby. I should go through Micheal's baby book and see if I can find a picture of him in those outfits...so when baby Ornery wears them I can do side by side pictures! LOL I'm a cheeseball.




But look...I'm a THINKING POSITIVE ABOUT THE FUTURE cheeseball. LOL




Not sure what else is going on. Next appt is 3/7 which is Tuesday. Friday is Matthew's birthday...and as of right now even though I know it's a scary gestational age day I'm still hopeful and looking forward to Monday the 13th when this baby will be 20 weeks...halfway to done.




I need to get a few things done around the house that I have been letting go since I have felt so shitty...so enjoy the extra long post and I'll catch ya on the flip side! LOL

Starting over, trying to keep friends informed of our life but not be totally out in the public once again. OB appt today...things to talk about from this past week...I'll be back later!